I Can Block Out Noise & Autostereograms Like A Champ… Yeah. I Should Maybe Marry A Robot.
Let me romantically and virtually feed you some food pictures first. That sounds appetizing… right?
From one of Hue's oldest/most famous Bun Thit Nuong restaurants. If you come here, I will introduce many a savory meat to you.
Bo Bit Tet is an amazing dish: breakfast steak and eggs served with a baguette. Did I mention, you always eat out of a cow hot plate? Yep.
And then there's this steak with mushroom-cream-sauce, from Hung Vuong Inn. I enjoy it.
There’s something about a really noisy and crowded internet cafe environment here that makes it easier for me to write. Okay, it may have to do with the fact that I look like a local, so that automatically gives me negative stare/interesting points (like -3). It might also have to do with the fact that I’m kind of in a “socialite” cafe, and it seems like locals here would rather look at their cell phone screens/pocket mirrors, or look deeply with love into their partner’s eyes, than watch other people and gossip about them (if you want that, you go to a street-side cafe or a teen bubble tea hot-spot… sigh.) Regardless it is pretty noisy here, and there are so many sounds and voices coming from everywhere (not counting the ones in my head). Oh, it’s also probably worth mentioning that each table in this small cafe is less than 2 feet away from each other. Fire code violations are kinda overrated.
But, when there’s so many layers of noise (the loud, Whitney Houston singles on every speaker, the techno beats from the French fashion shows on TV, all the loud phone calls (reminds me of my Dad’s awkwardly loud voice level on the telephone.), every table’s conversation with all their “well-trained inside voices”), it makes it somewhat easier for me to zone them all out collectively and reduce the complex set of noises to a comforting, humming noise- kind of like what you heard from 50/54 non-working channels during those days you didn’t have cable, lost the remote, and you were forced to sit inches away from the TV and use a chopstick to flip channels (since most of the buttons were broken and pushed in.) Wait, that never happened to anyone else?
It reminds me of this one anthropology class we had on public spaces (and also my skill at Magic Eye for some reason, but that’s not important…:::(message me if you wanna know more.):::). Even though I’m in close proximity to so many tables, nobody is interested in listening to me since I’m not talking about juicy gossip pertaining to my wicked mother-in-law or illegitimate son. Everyone is also focused on maintaining their own “private space,” which they share with the person directly in front of them. So, in a way less space makes each person’s private space more concentrated. Nobody notices me here even though they’re 2 feet away from me, except the waitresses who recognize me and giggle at me when they see I’m writing something in English. Minor detail. The point is, through my experiences, there are so many people in Hue who stick to their own “stuff,” which is really surprising when I think about how nosy Vietnamese people can be (my kids or my parents, uncles, and aunts 
). My friend Sarah said whenever she went to a street stall in Hanoi to eat, and the seller immediately recognized her Southern accent- it became this big ordeal, and they had to know where she was from. Maybe this is sometimes supposed to come off as a friendly gesture, but after it happens so constantly (and y’know, since Hanoi people have no compassion in their accent 
) you get caught up in your own cultural interpretations and you just wanna say,”Lay off, brotha!”
But, in Hue I haven’t had that happen once, even though it’s obvious I don’t have the Hue accent and I’m probably the only Vietnamese person wearing sweatpants out to town. Again, that must be one of those hidden, positive attributes of Hue’s isolation that you can only remember long after the rainy season is over. In the States, we’re so used to and are overprotective of our “space,” and as much as I try to reduce that dependence on private space here (haha, do I really have a choice?), it would be impossible to completely neglect my culturally-infused needs. So, when you find a small group of people far far away from home who, to a certain extent, share a related interpretation of one of your significant values (the Hue street vendors or the people in this cafe who don’t need to know my “stuff”, basically I can find privacy anywhere outside of my shelter haha.), the isolation that comes with it can be kind of comforting. That’s probably why I always come to this wifi cafe and have my street vendor “regulars” around town.
This reminds me of one of my recent conversation classes I had about “Being Rude in the U.S. and Vietnam,” (One class, I had them practice being rude and interrupting. Fun, right?) and one of my students said that it was rude in Vietnam to be “over-caring.” Having had many awkward check-ups and funny confrontations from Vietnamese elders (those stories of the staff watching me closely and if anything odd happened, for example, if I came out of my room later than 10 a.m. (God forbid), they felt like they needed to automatically assume I was sick and bring me rice porridge.), this was really surprising to hear from one of my students. It’s starting… the youth is starting to understand it… Ignore everyone and everything, youth! Maintain the ignorance! IGNORE 4 LIFE! MAKE ALL SPACE, PRIVATE SPACE!!!!!
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Remember that one week, when the Perfume River was lit up with floating candles for Buddha’s birthday, AND a creative robot contest was held less than 400 feet from my doorstep?
These are rather entertaining pictures. Oddly enough, Photoshop was not used for any of these Perfume River photos. I think remembering that makes them 100x funnier.
Every year on Buddha's birthday, there's a boat parade on the Perfume River. All the boats romantically dump hundreds of floating candles as they float down like a wedding procession. Apparently, everyone figured out that this bridge had the best view.
The boats have whacky colors and tons of monks. Yes. Whacky, colored monks.
Here is the start of my "Portraits of Romance." #1: Tuan.
#2: Topher.
#3: The boyz.
#4: Yoshiko and Oanh, our artist friends.
#5: Candice & Topher. With helmets.
#6: Tuan in contemplation.
#7: My Backpack and I.
Then, last weekend there was a Creative Robot Contest at the Sports Arena near the shelter. It was a contest for engineering university students called ROBOCON, and I think it originated in Japan. It was happening every night for a week straight, and I didn’t know it involved robots until right before it ended. There were even huge, beaming spotlights in the air every night, and I just never thought to ask what was going on. I remember thinking, “Eh, Vietnam and her damn light obsession. It’s probably someone important’s birthday or something… and obviously, his only wishes were two, gigantic, rotating spot lights for a week.”
This is my child, the Shelter, in her television costume.
I should probably date one of these Vietnamese robot women.
It kind of reminded me of a STAC Championship basketball game at the Binghamton Arena... only everyone was rooting for robots.
This was the actual robot race. They had to navigate their three robots around those sticks. I think I remember them calling that part "The Forest." C'mon, let's be real. They're just sticks.
Many ROBOCON noise-makers.
I've never seen so much emotion for robots. I don't actually know if I just made a joke or not.
At the end, the first robot that ejects their three sticks and bangs those three drums in the middle is the winner. It was surprisingly exhilarating.
I’ll save some other stories I’ve got for a later post, so now I’m just gonna put up some recent photos I’ve taken. I put some of these on facebook already, but you can never backup too much! Haha, backing up. What a funny, obsessive cycle we got ourselves into…
…but, not funny enough to actually forget backing up. Seriously. Must recover any and all data loss. Never lose another thing again. Must. hold. on. Every. little. piece. of. data. is. important.
Maybe the next generation will start backing up every piece of clothing, or maybe all boys will be required to make a backup wig at an early age before their adult hair-loss kicks in. How age-defying.
How appropriate! My kids told me that this bug is called the "Haircut Bug" (Con Cat Toc) because legend has it, if it gets on your head you will be destroyed.
A sweet medical oddity scenario: "Great. My kid's born with witch hats for arms. How do you suggest we go about ignoring this?"
Have you ever tried to ride a bicycle so big that the seat went to the middle of your back?
Binh on a boat.
I think he smacked me after this, but I'm not sure. I'm numb to violence at this point.
I wasn't cool enough to join this boy's club... Sigh.
Fact: ice cream is enjoyable at every angle.
A long time ago, (after a day of middle school summer bible camp) my cousins and I were watching TV at my house and a Neutrogena commercial came on. My cousin Xuan unknowingly flipped her hair at the perfect moment during the commercial, which triggered middle school Hy to exploit her harmless hair flip's motivation and accuse her of wanting to be a Neutrogena hair model. For several years afterward, all the cousins would mercilessly call her "Neutrogena Girl" while reenacting the hair flip, which may have also started another running joke of calling her a "valley girl."
Hy Huynh
hahahah i’d completely forgotten about neutrogena girl